A while back, I became friends with someone. Now, at the time, I had the utmost respect for this person. And we became better friends, but then this person did something to ruin our friendship. Obviously, this really bothered me, because this was someone who I thought would become a good friend, and I have not spoken to this person since.

This has been eating away at me for months, because it’s hard to forget about someone who you really respect. When you have a certain expectation for someone to be a certain way, and that expectation does not follow through, it is a difficult thing to accept. It’s easy to get over it if you don’t care about the person, but when that respect is there, it’s next to impossible.

But last night something incredible happened: I learned the truth. I found out that this person is not who I thought. In light of what I found out, it turns out that this person does not, and never did, deserve my respect. As a result of what I learned, I lost all respect that I had for this person; it was completely wonderful.

I found this out right before I went to bed, and lying in bed I was literally giddy. I was smiling, laughing to myself, and just as pleased as hell. It’s like this huge weight had been lifted off my back. I have felt so wonderful ever since. I can’t explain the joy that this damning news brought me.

It’s really quite remarkable. Usually when you learn something unfavorable about someone, it’s bad. But if that person is someone who you want to be able to think badly about, but have not been able to, it relieves that tension.

I’m not sure if anyone reading this has ever experienced what I mean, but it’s great. Last night I felt the best that I’ve felt in probably about a year. It’s like a problem I’ll never have to worry or think about again. It’s like I was right all along, but I thought I was wrong. It took 8 months to find out that I was right the entire time, but now I know the truth!

Today I got an e-mail from the McLLU listserv. They’re having some problems with their Co-Ed bathrooms, as in they’re messy. Well, one of their residents replied to the listserve and made an additional request: She wanted the guys to put the seats back down when they finish. 

As long as there have been toilet seats and unisex bathrooms, there have been issues with guys leaving the toilet seat up and girls getting pissed off about it. We’ve all seen the TV shows where women yell at their husbands about it. I’ve always thought that it was a nice courtesy for guys to do too, at least until something occurred to me today: Why don’t guys ask girls to leave the toilet seat up? Why isn’t it the other way around?

Let’s face it: The guys ought to have the upper hand in this situation: We would rationally care far less if the seat is up or down. It’s not like we have to sit on the seat very often: Once, maybe twice a day. So if we tinkle a bit on the seat, no big deal. We can just wipe it off and sit on down; it’s our piss anyway, right? Where’s our incentive to ever put the seat down?

So to me, it looks like the girls ought to be grateful that we even put the seat up when we take a leak. They might be better off, however, putting that seat up themselves when they finish, so that we don’t piss on it, right? I mean, we’re already being courteous by lifting it up when we go to the bathroom. Somehow, however, they think we’re obligated to put it back down. I don’t get it.

So here’s my compromise. I believe in sexual equality. That means that I’ll put the seat down whenever I finish up in the bathroom if you put the seat up whenever you finish in the bathroom. Seems fair to me. Though I don’t really get the point either way now, since the seat will be either up or down at any given time, and that means that 50% of the time, someone will still, on average, have to move the position of the seat again when using the bathroom. So the only conclusion that I think one can draw is that it’s just as efficient to be courteous through this system as to not be courteous and leave it. So much for courtesy, eh?

So the career fair was today. That’s the day that lots of companies come to campus, explain why you should work for them, and pretend that they want to hire you. It’s kind of like a giant multi-company info session. What could be better, right? I had no intention of going, but a few friends of mine talked me into it. But in the long run, it wasn’t so bad. I stayed for about an hour, talked to some people, talked to some companies. Here are some highlights:

First, I talked to a guy I know named ‘Mike’ from CIBC. We talked for a little while, but he definitely wins the quote of the day. When I told him that, unlike most people that they’ll interview, I actually know that I want to be an investment banker. He replied: “That’s cool. So you’re saying that you’re crazy, and you know you’re crazy.” Yup, that’s exactly what I mean.

After that I went to talk to some guy from a boutique firm, which will remain nameless. To there goes the runner-up for the quote of the day. The guy that was working the table had some girl who he apparently used to be friends with come up to the table and say “hi, how are you, etc.” Since she kind of interrupted us, when they finished talking he said, “Yeah, I’ve got hoes in lots of area codes.” Real professional buddy, real professional.

Then I finally met up with my friend Ziv, who was the one that convinced me to come in the first place. I have to say, it was pretty fun to see him as the recruiter. His girlfriend and I started laughing when he was rattling on about how great the people are at his firm. The poor guy’s only been working for a few months and is already totally brainwashed!

I think after that I went to the Goldman table. I’ve got an interview with them next week, so I just wanted to say “hi”. The highlight here was that my favorite girl from Kappa was at their table talking to some of them when I got there, since she worked there this past summer. But that’s not the only reason I want to work at Goldman, honest. But it is a rather compelling reason, I have to admit. At any rate, I got a nifty free “Goldman Sachs” pen. It was made in China.

Next I went to see another friend who works for Bank of America. She’s totally brainwashed too. It was also pretty damn funny. I got a free “Bank of America” hat from there. It was made in Cambodia.

Then I went to a fabulous table: The CIA. I talked with a woman there. I told her what I study here, and she told me that there is a position that’s perfect for me. Apparently I can be an analyst who tracks the sale and helps to prevent the use of rogue ballistic missiles. I can also work on anti-terrorism analysis. Sounds like fun. If this whole Investment Banking thing doesn’t work it, I might just have to become a spy. God Bless America. I also got a free “CIA” pen from there. It was made in Italy. I found that strangely coincidental since I’m Italian. Maybe I’m meant to be in the CIA just like that pen? Hmmm… makes ya think, eh?

Next I went to the GE table. It was chill. A woman there talked about how great GE is.

After that I went to the UBS Warburg table. For some bizarre reason they don’t recruit on campus for banking, yet they’re hiring more people for investment banking than Citigroup (a big firm). But she was a nice English lady with an English accent.

Gosh, doesn’t it sound like an hour of pure excitement? Oh, it was. I look forward to the day when I’m working for a firm and I get to be one of those brainwashed presenters and talk about how my firm is the greatest. With a little luck, I could be writing about that in my journal next year at this time!

About a year ago, I had a professor named Dennis. Now, Professor Dennis is one of a kind. Few professors have no problem making fun of John F. Kennedy Jr. in class, the French, and the Dean of the college. But Dennis did such things often. In fact, his personality/teaching became so controversial that his department decided not to grant him tenure. This decision was unfortunate for everyone involved; I have met few professors at my college to deserved tenure more than Professor Dennis. Not only was he one of the most gifted lecturers I have ever had, but he was completely brilliant. From what I understand, while they were reviewing his tenure, a book he had written on one of the areas in which he specializes was recently proclaimed to be a seminal work in the field and a major breakthrough. So while I could easily write and entire journal entry on this professor, instead I intend to write about one of the most brilliant things he ever said. One day in class he was talking about an assignment to write a paper. A student raised his hand and asked: “Does the quality of writing factor in to the grade significantly?” He chuckled and replied something like, “Well, I don’t take that into consideration on a conscious level, but the quality of one’s writing always matters.” The student looked unsatisfied with this answer.

At the time I understood his answer, but only tonight has it really hit home just how true his reply really was. Clearly the kid who raised his hand was not a very good writer. He probably would prefer it if he could just turn in an outline of his ideas, rather than formulate them into a paper. What is the major difference between an outline and a paper? I would argue that the major difference is that a paper contains rhetoric while an outline does not.

How does rhetoric change things? Well, rhetoric allows one to be persuasive. Even if a paper is not intended to be persuasive, rhetoric is still incredibly important. Although one might not be attempting to persuade someone of a particular viewpoint, when making ANY point, the reader must be persuaded that this is, indeed, a relevant point to consider. So in a sense, ever paper needs to be persuasive.

And how does the quality of one’s writing come into play? I would argue that the quality of one’s writing is an essential factor in one’s rhetoric. If one writes poorly his/her paper will seem like garbage. The paper will be ineffective. If you do not believe this, I urge you to read a poorly written paper arguing a point and then a well written paper arguing a point. Even if they have exactly the same arguments, the well written paper will seem more persuasive.

As I mentioned, I understood this at the time. But here’s what happened tonight: I began working on a paper I have for a law class this semester. In order to prepare and better understand the assignment, the professor gave us access to two papers written in previous years. Well, I read the first paper and was appalled by how poorly it was written: poor verb variety, bad grammar, you name it. Its structure even left something to be desired, and it was not at all cohesive. I hated it. It was written so poorly that I could hardly even evaluate whether or not the arguments in the paper were good or not, and I assume that the professor that they were: He said that these were both good papers. Then I began the second paper. I could hardly get past the first paragraph: It was that poorly written. I didn’t get through the entire paper, as it turns out. It hurt me to read it (I could never be a professor). These people just could not write worth a damn.

Now I should probably explain why this probably is. This is a law class, but the vast majority of the people that take this course are economics majors. That means that they probably don’t do a whole lot of writing. That means that, on average, they probably aren’t very good at writing. Clearly, this was the case. But the point is this: If these papers were already considered good, one can only imagine how much better the professor would have thought they were if they were well-written. In fact, I would say that if the analysis in a paper is not as good, but it is well written, then it would be on an even par with these, which purportedly had good analysis. That’s something to think about. A good writer can either write very well or have very good analysis. But a great writer, a great writer must have both.

Today the food at the dining hall was mediocre at best. So, as usual, when the food is mediocre, I decided to cap off my meal with a bowl of cereal. It was a hard decision, but when all the votes were in, I decided to go with a traditional favorite: Wheaties. Maybe it’s because I ran a 5k this morning and I felt like I should be on the box. But for whatever reason, I went with this sports oriented classic. I am always curious who is on the Wheaties box, because usually it’s one of the best sportsmen around. The current box had everyone’s favorite golfer: Tiger Woods.

This pissed me off. Now, I have nothing against Tiger Woods. I think he’s about as good at the game of golf as any golfer ever. My complaint is not that he is the golfer that they would put on the box of Wheaties. My complaint is that they would put ANY golfer on the box of Wheaties.

My beef is this: I don’t think golf is a sport. I think it’s a fabulous game, and I’m sure I’ll spend many an hour on the golf course when I get old. But it isn’t a sport. In a sport, you break a sweat for a reason other than the fact that it’s just a bit hot outside. I believe a sport has 4 essential characteristics:

1. It is a game.
2. It takes a multitude of types of physical talent to be good.
3. At times, you should be breathing heavily and be physically exerting yourself.
4. People over the age of 50 should not be able to play it very well.

Now, these criteria may seem arbitrary and/or self-serving, and maybe they are. But when we think of things that are traditionally sports, besides golf, they all fit. And when we think of games that are traditionally not considered sports, like chess, they do not fit. So I do not think that this is an arbitrary set of criteria after all.

Obviously in the 4 essential characteristics of a sport above, golf only fulfills the first. The second criterion may be vague, but what I mean is that you should be more than one physical talents. For instance, a baseball pitcher needs to be able to throw, catch, and run. A golfer, however, just has to swing a club.

I’m not sure what else I should say other than I think it’s ridiculous that some consider golf a sport. I think it’s a fine game, but it’s just that: a game. A good analogy to golf might be Billiards. Billiards is also a fine game, but it certainly isn’t a sport. Why not? Because it fulfills exactly the same requirements as golf! I personally think that twister is closer to being a sport than golf.

While golfers certainly do have talent of some kind, I think the talent that they have is very different than the talent of, say, a basketball player. Now, as I said, I actually really like golf. I think it’s fun to watch, and I one day (when I’m about 60) hope to be an avid golfer. But no matter how into the game I may or may not get, I will never, ever consider it a sport.

Okay, I haven’t written a journal entry at all related to September 11th, so here it comes. I intend to talk about a reaction that many people have to such events: The feeling that someone should take the blame for what happened.

Some people began by blaming Bush. They said as president he should have done something because the idea of such a threat had been conceived. For starters, let’s realize that Bush had only been president for about 8 months when it had happened. Do you have any idea how little you can do in 8 months when it comes to politics? About the first year of a presidency is dedicated to trying to fulfill campaign promises. So then one might complain that Bush should have campaigned to rid the world of international terrorist threats, but I hardly saw Gore talking about that either. Now, I’m no huge Bush fan, but I don’t think it’s fair to give him the blame here.

Once the democrats saw that Bush, indeed, could not be blamed in a rational fashion, people began to shift the blame elsewhere. The next logical target was the CIA. In roll all of these reports: The CIA knew this, the CIA knew that. Whatever the CIA knew, it obviously was not enough to stop the terrorists. OBVIOUSLY, if they knew that there was a plan to crash planes into buildings that was to occur on September 11th, they would have stopped it. They might have had pieces of the puzzle, but I strongly believe that they did not have enough of those pieces to get the whole picture.

But maybe they should have, right? Well, this is a complicated animal to tame. Even if they had taken the threat seriously of such suicide bombing attempts with airlines, it would have been very difficult to delve into the regulation of the airline security without a concrete explanation as to why. Of course, it’s easy that they got into it once the tragedy has occurred, because no one is about to complain after this. I would assert, however, that even if they had become involved in security, it wouldn’t have helped. These terrorists weren’t stupid people: They likely would have gotten past security just fine one way or another. I happen to know someone with first hand knowledge of the federal training for airport security that is taking place, and it is a complete and utter joke.

Well, maybe our government should be different. Maybe they should have the power and ease to dive into the realm of something like airport security before such a tragedy and regulate the hell out of it. Again, I think that this is a pretty bad idea. I mean, where does it stop? I can’t help but get images of Orwell’s “1984”. Is it really worth that? I don’t think so. There’s got to be a better way. Tighter locks on who comes over for immigration and better intelligence would be a good start. Surprisingly, neither of these really seems to have made any progress to this point.

Basically, I don’t think that there is anyone that we can really blame for making a mistake that led to this horrible tragedy. Everyone wants a scapegoat, but I really think that there isn’t anyone’s shoulders that it’s fair to put that on. The only people who I think we could blame are the terrorists themselves. All someone needs is the will to be destructive, and s/he can do immense damage: It’s a fact of life. Put 50 pounds of C4 explosive around your body, wear a coat, go into a crowded place, and you can easily kill hundreds of people. If you are willing to be sick enough, no one can stop you. The trick is to catch these sick people first. And it’s not easy. But make no mistake: They are the only ones to blame for their actions. Nothing we could have done differently would have curbed the hatred they have for us. They always have, and they always will. That’s why they’re called fanatics.

That’s right. The topic is not misleading here: get ready for an online ghost story. So turn down the lights, put on a Bach Organ Toccata, and prepare to be frightened.

Let me begin by saying a little bit about ghosts. I’m not sure that I actually believe in ghosts. I mean, it’s fun to think that they might exist, but I’m not wholly convinced. That said, I definitely DO believe that it’s possible that ghosts exist. Anyone who’s lived in 5-6 in DMC believes in them (it’s haunted supposedly). But what I’m about to present it the most conclusive evidence that ghosts may, indeed, exist. Yes, that’s right: This is a true story.

It all began when I was quite young. During elementary school, bike riding was where it was at. All the cool kids had cool bikes and we’d ride around the neighborhood, to the park, to school, whatever. (I was even the “safety patrol” in 5th grade stationed at the bike rack – I was THAT cool.) Anyway, one of my best friends (to this day) is a kid named Jason. He moved next door to me when I was about 4 years old, and we ended up going to high school together and all that. So, as would be fairly obvious, he and I often biked around the neighborhood.

We live on a place called “21st Street”. Right behind 21st Street is not 22nd street, because it’s a one-lane street. It’s called “21st Lane.” Behind that is a “deep water” canal that leads to the Atlantic in about a mile. So it’s just that street and then the water. The houses on that street are, thus, on the water and have no houses behind them. (This becomes relevant, I swear.)

So Jason and I would bike around the neighborhood, and our usual route was to go behind our block down 21st lane to the I-95 wall, then back “around the lake” down 19th street. Well, we’d always comment on the houses when we’d bike ride.

On 21st lane, the block next to ours, there was always this house that we found strange. It was slightly more run down than all of the other houses. There never seemed to be anyone living there, but there was no “for sale” sign. There was a driveway on the left side of the house, and the house itself was set back probably a good 30 yards from the street. Over the driveway there were lots of overgrown trees. In those trees hung a thin garden hose, and there was always water dripping from the garden hose.

Jason and I always thought it was a very strange house, so we nicknamed it “The Haunted House.” And it became legendary for being haunted whenever we’d pass by. This all happened in elementary school.

Well, the years went by, we kept bike riding, just for old-times sake, even throughout high school, and the house never changed. It never looked like anyone moved in there, or disturbed it in any way, and the hose was always right there in the tree, dripping.

So Jason and I went off to college. The summer after our Freshman year, we decided to go for a bike ride for old-time’s sake. We took our usual route. When we came to the haunted house, it wasn’t there. It had disappeared.

I don’t mean that they knocked it down. It just wasn’t there any more. It’s hard for me to explain what I mean when I say this. The lot looked exactly the same: nothing had been disturbed, but now the house was gone. Besides the house not being there, everything else looked exactly the same. The grass was still perfectly well grown; there were no tire marks where bulldozers might have driven to knock it down; there were no large wheel marks or indication that it had been moved elsewhere; there was still no “for sale” sign, and it nothing was being built in its place. It was just gone. And the most disturbing fact was that, while the house was gone, the old hose was still there in the tree, and it was still dripping water.

There are a couple things to note about this. First, this is prime property. Any lot where this is located would be valued at upwards of $200,000. And that’s just for the lot. A house behind mine recently sold for something like $750,000 (on the same street as the haunted house). So it’s inconceivable that if someone owns this lot that they wouldn’t sell it so that someone could build a half million dollar mansion. Also, this house was a regular sized house, probably 2000 square feet. So it wasn’t something mobile. And finally, every time I’ve been home since then I’ve went by the spot where the house used to be, and nothing is being built. It still looks just as it did when the house was there, and the hose is still in the trees dripping water.

Now, I don’t know if the house was really haunted; I don’t know what happened to it. But it sure is strange. It really is bizarre that the house that, for years, we thought was haunted suddenly disappears. If this had happened to any other house, we might have thought nothing of it, but for it to happen to this one: that just can’t be coincidence. To this day I wish I knew what happened to this house, but it remains a mystery.

Argument for dating freshmen:

“Look, let me ask you something. Did you ever buy a dog? You got a puppy when you bought a dog. You didn’t buy a 13-year-old German shepherd. You wanna buy? You wanna buy a nice young puppy.”

– Actor James Wood, age 52, on Access Hollywood, when asked about older men with younger women.

Argument against dating freshmen:

“Jimmy’s – you know – very fun. Uh – I think I’m the luckiest girl in the world. I, I really – uh – I’m really attracted to [long pause] to wisdom.”

- Actor James Woods’ fiancée, 25 year-old Melissa Crider

Alright, so one of my friends, Dara, keeps an online journal(http://www.livejournal.com/~kumadraconis). A day or two ago, her entry consisted of an assignment she had to do for one of her “fluff” classes, some Education class or something. I wouldn’t know: I don’t take fluff classes. But this assignment was to write an autobiography. Instead of writing one, she made a CD of songs that describe her life, and explained briefly what they all meant. I thought this was a really cool idea, so I decided to make an Audio Autobiography of my own. Yes, I stole her idea; I’m not original, deal with it. So this is Dan’s Essential Mix: 1980-2002

1. Weird Al: Stuck In The Closet with Vanna White
- When I was a little kid, I definitely was not music savvy when it came to popular music. I mean, we’re talking between 1st and 3rd grades. Weird Al was the coolest back then. Hell, he still is pretty damn cool. Who else do you know that made millions of dollars making hilarious songs while making fun of the people who wrote them at the same time?

2. Guns n’ Roses: Paradise City
- Strangely enough, my father had this album before I did. I guess I should give him a little credit for that. Paradise City was my very favorite song when it came out. Life was good in the 3rd/4th grade years, it was a paradise in many ways down in South FLA.

3. 2 Live Crew: Me So Horny
- Traci Quercia. That’s all I have to say. This was the first girl that I was completely enamored with. I started adolescence young. It happened in 4th grade. My friend, Michael Waldhorn, had some 2 Live Crew tapes back then, even the dirty versions! His parents were way cooler than mine. We always laughed our asses off at the beginning when there’s the man and woman having sex where he’s like, “Don’t do that baby, don’t do that baby,” and she yells “Sock it to me!”

4. Poison: Unskinny Bop
- Right around the same time as the 2 live crew song. There lyrics were, again, sexual, but not obviously so to someone in elementary school. Back then I thought it was just a kick ass rock song. It kind of symbolizes the naïve innocence of those days.

5. Bon Jovi: Blaze of Glory
- The movie “Young Guns II” really blew. I don’t know anyone that saw it, not even me. But the soundtrack was done by Bon Jovi, so it was kickin’. This was the first CD that I ever purchased. I was in 5th grade then, so I was definitely feeling the blaze of glory, being the king of elementary school.

6. Vanilla Ice: Ice Ice Baby
- Yeah, I know it’s cliché, but oh well. This song really was important to the time. The fashion was completely dictated by the music back then. You remember the parachute pants. Everyone cool owned a pair. If we only knew. On our 5th grade trip to Washington D.C. I was in love with this girl named Caitlin. On the train, the guys and girls were separated, so we wrote “love letters” to one another. I wrote her a poem where I altered the lyrics to “Ice Ice Baby”. It was hilarious, and very sweet. Unfortunately, I made the mistake of not saying that it was from me, because I was insecure. She thought that my friend Andy did it, and they ended up dating. Gotta hate that.

7. Nirvana: It Smells Like Teen Spirit
- Again, somewhat cliché, but still important. Do you remember where you were when you first heard about Nirvana? I was in the school’s hallway in 6th grade. Of course, Nirvana was a very new, refreshing group. I loved it. And as a 6th grader in Middle School, I needed something new and refreshing. And besides, we were just beginning to smell the teen spirit. And do you know where you were when you heard that Kurt Cobain killed himself? You should. I was sitting on my couch; I heard it on MTV news.

8. Stone Temple Pilots: Creep
- This is not, nearly, my favorite STP song. It was, however, the first one that I heard and it led to me buying Core which led to them becoming my favorite band, as they are to this day. The first time I heard the song, I was in the car with some friends and family. We were on our way somewhere, but I remember getting out of the car in a parking garage and feeling like I just heard the greatest band ever.

9. Aerosmith: Amazin’
- So I had been an Aerosmith fan since Pump. I loved Get a Grip too. Then the Alicia Silverstone videos came out, and I knew that Aerosmith and I were on the same wavelength. I still think she is gorgeous, and became quite obsessed with her until Britney came along. Amazin’ was the best video. I totally wanted to be the guy with the virtual reality. I loved that brown, velvety sun-dress she wears.

10. Ace of Base: Waiting for Magic
- Middle school was now over, but right at the end I found Ace of Base. I had always been a strictly Rock Music kind of guy, so I was amazed I could like a dance/electronic based group. It kind of disturbed me at the time actually. So in middle school I have to admit that I didn’t have much luck with the ladies. But the summer after 8th grade, I decided to shave my head and go to FSU Band Camp. Yes, Band Camp. And there, I was like an Adonis. I don’t know why, but every girl there wanted my body. I kid you not. I was waiting for magic, and there it was.

11. Stone Temple Pilots: “Unglued”
- At the end of my freshman year of high school we took a band trip to Toronto to compete in this international competition (which we won). Well, the best part of the trip wasn’t the music, or Niagara Falls. One night our director told us that we were going to a planetarium. This would be dumb, we all thought. It ended up being a laser light show, the background music of which was all Stone Temple Pilots. It was one of the coolest experiences I’ve had in my life. I thought I had died and gone to heaven.

12. Wink: Higher State of Consciousness
- Somewhere in my sophomore year, I began straying from rock music. Probably inspired by Ace of Base, I began to get into techno. This was the coolest techno song ever, and I felt like I did, indeed, experience something with techno that rock couldn’t offer. It had a different dimension.

13. Real McCoy: Runaway
- Alright, so from techno I branched off much more into dance music. Real McCoy was where it was at back then for dance music. Junior year, we would go to these parties out in Wellington at a friends’ house. Her mother was an alcoholic and somehow we managed to get our hands on lots and lots of Busch beer. Gotta love high school beer parties. When I hear Real McCoy I still think of those long drives out to Wellington. My boy Jason will feel me on this one if he reads this.

14. L.L. Cool J: Lover
- Jason would also know why I’m talking about this song. There was this girl, Ariel, who I was really into Junior Year. Jason, who I refer to, was one of my best friends, and he was dating her twin sister, Alison. They weren’t identical twins. So I got it in my head that I had to date Ariel, and it would be just perfect. Unfortunately, Ariel had this pathetic boyfriend named Mike. We nick-named him “Carl”. Don’t ask why. So Carl sucked, and this song described the situation perfectly.

15. Jewel: Foolish Games
- But alas, I didn’t have any love life junior year of high school. Those girls were all playing games. I did take Calculus II the summer after junior year, however, at the local college. I would drive out there a few times a week and listen to my Jewel CD each time. I don’t know how I got so into Jewel, probably because I liked her chest. Incidentally, I dated a girl that looked like her about a year later.

16. Puff Daddy/Biggie Smalls: It’s All About The Benjamins
- Senior year was exactly as it should have been: Perfect. Everything seemed to have worked out, and life was good. It was like I was infinitely stuck in a Puffy Daddy video, and what better video to be stuck in than this.

17. Ace of Base: Don’t Go Away
- This is off the 3rd Ace of Base CD, “Cruel Summer”. It’s a truly amazing CD, you should pick it up. Anyway, the summer after senior year high school, I had to leave for college. This song was pretty relevant because it was a woman singing to a man not to leave her, as I had to leave my girlfriend at the time.

18. Wyclef Jean: Gone ‘till November
- This song is relevant to my freshman year of college for so many reasons. First, I left my girlfriend, and as luck would have it, I didn’t plan to see her again until November. Wyclef also came to Ithaca to do a concert that year. The concert really blew. I still love Wyclef though, it wasn’t his fault: The crowd sucked.

19. Britney Spears: Sometimes
- When the Sometimes video came out, I was at the very climax of my Britney Spears obsession. I originally became interested in Britney during Spring Break of my Freshman year, when my long-distance girlfriend broke up with me. So you see, Britney was my rebound. Sometimes was also key because when I went to see her in concert that summer, I accidentally wore the same outfit as the guy in the video. Boy did I feel stupid when I realized it.

20. Amber: Sexual
- Amber has always been an incredible force in music as far as I’m concerned. Her music continues to revolutionize dance music. Strangely, this song kind of describes the mood for the sophomore year of college.

21. Aurora: Ordinary World
- Junior Year College was great. It was my favorite year of college, without doubt. Highest GPA, most fun, best friends, etc. This song kind of describes a blissful state, where you can just sit back and relax. Amazing remake of the song too, by the way.

22. Depeche Mode: Somebody
- Yeah, this song describes my senior year. It’s a fairly depressing song, but it describes a state of hope and understanding of what he wants. That’s exactly my senior year. Bad things, all bad. I can’t really name a single positive thing that came out of it, in the retrospect. The girl situation was a mess, especially in the Spring. I heard this song during the summer, the only good time I had, in NYC. So I guess that is one good thing after all that came out of the mess.

And now, I’d like to thank:
- My mother for loving the Beatles, which ultimately led to my hating them by reverse psychology and I ended up exploring other music instead.
- My father for getting me into rock music, and hating any other kind of music (again the reverse psychology thing works).
- My uncle for buying me my 1st CD Player
- My friend Michael Waldhorn for exposing me to the obscenity that only 2 Live Crew could unleash.
- My friend Andy for not telling Caitlin that I sent that Vanilla Ice love letter after all, because I never would have lived it down. Rest in Peace buddy.
- Peaches Music, the place where Marilyn Manson once worked (on Palmetto Park Road in Boca Raton) for selling me my first CD. Unfortunately, it’s now closed.
- Jonathan Chastain for de-panting me one day when I was wearing parachute pants. And for being so inept at fighting when I responded by beating the hell out of him and giving him a black-eye.
- My friend Billy Bailey for telling me about Nirvana, and offering to smoke pot with me if I ever wanted to try it.
- Alicia Silverstone for being in those videos.
- That girl at Band Camp from Cocoa beach who was incredibly hot and really wanted me bad. It was a great self-esteem booster at the time.
- The dude in Toronto who created the STP Laser Light Show: You are my hero.
- My cousin Tony for installing my first “system” in my 1st car – a 1971 Red Camaro with White Racing Stripes.
- My friend Jason for driving out to Wellington all those times and singing Real McCoy with me. And putting up with all my crap when I whined about Ariel dating Carl.
- All my other friends who I subjected to way too much Ace of Base. I know I’m one of their only die hard fans around, but that’s just one of those things that you have to love about me.
- Britney Spears for wearing that Catholic Schoolgirl dress.
- The Security Guard at the Britney concert who knew my father and almost got me backstage to meet her, but failing ultimately. It would have been a shame for her to fall in love with me instead of Justin. I don’t know if I would have liked all of the publicity. And now I’ve decided she’s a worthless slut anyway.
- DJ Laz and Power96 for being a fabulous ghetto Miami Radio Station.
- The new Party 93.1 for outdoing Power96 and causing me to defect to your side.
- Ella, who convinced me to buy some old Depeche Mode this summer. Now give them back

I’m taking a class this semester in International Trade Theory. So for class today we had to read an article about globalization. It attempted to explain why International Trade hasn’t solved all of the world’s problems yet. In a wider sense, many people think that globalization is the answer to the woes of the world. They believe that globalization will feed the hungry, cloth the naked, and bring peace and prosperity to all corners of the globe. For those who believe that, I’ll save you the suspense: you’re wrong.

We had a rather unintriguing discussion about this article and the goods and bads concerning international trade in class today. Many people expressed their beliefs about what needed to change in terms of global trade in order to rid poor countries of poverty. They expressed a fear that the low wage jobs were just going to these poor countries and their people weren’t getting out of poverty, because they weren’t getting jobs that lead to fabulous salaries. What jobs are those? Of course, they are skilled jobs, and the residents of the poverty stricken countries I speak of are generally unskilled. So the raw naïve optimist would say: “Yes, exactly: What we need to do is help for that country to have more skilled workers.”

But wait just a minute, isn’t the whole point of countries like the U.S. engaging in global trade to get rid of our unskilled jobs, so the skilled jobs can remain at home? Of course it is. But that’s not my point. My point is this: There will always be unskilled workers. Not only will there always be unskilled workers, but the unskilled workers will always heavily outweigh the skilled workers in terms of numbers. How do I know this? Well, the products that people need the most are things like necessities: Food, clothing, building products, etc. Because they are necessities, we need more of them than other goods. We need more potatoes than we do TVs. But who picks the vegetables, sews your Abercrombie shirts together and glues your Nikes together, and who stains the wood you want to use for your new cabinet? Of course, the unskilled workers do.

Here’s my favorite part: Because we always will have unskilled workers, we will always have a number of people in the lowest income class, just above the poverty line. Because these unskilled workers will always far outweigh the skilled workers in number, the low class will always far outweigh the upper and middle classes. It’s like magic: I’ve just described the world as it currently is. And guess what: that’s the way it always will be too. It’s about as close to being a law of nature as you can get. So whether those unskilled workers work in Korea, Bangladesh, Uruguay, or the U.S., they will still be unskilled and earn low wages in comparison to the skilled workers. These workers have to exist and nothing, especially not global trade, will ever change that. All global trade can hope to do is redistribute where those unskilled workers are, and maybe open up some more jobs for unskilled labor to those who had no job to begin with.

Okay, enter the silly socialist. “But wait!” She says, “The problem is not that there will always be unskilled workers, but that the unskilled workers don’t get the same wages as the skilled workers! That’s the only way to end poverty. GO EQUALITY!!” That may be true. But guess what: the moment that happens society collapses. As soon as the more intelligent and more able lose their incentive to work harder, think up new ideas and take risks on them as entrepreneurs, and solve the difficult problems that society faces, then progress will come to a grinding halt. If you don’t believe me, study a little economics. If you still don’t believe me, read “Atlas Shrugged” by Ayn Rand. If you still don’t believe me, study a little history and look at what happened to the communist nations that fell and look at the economies and way of life of the communist nations that still exist. While communism and socialism aren’t the same, their ideologies basically are, and so will be their fate. After all of that, if you still don’t believe me, then you are beyond help and simply fail to grasp fundamental rational thought.

We will always have rich people and we will always have poor people. You will not find a utopia during any time past, present or future here on earth. Unfortunately it just isn’t in the cards. The sooner people can accept that, the sooner they can more onto more important things and help our society to progress to the best level it is able to reach, though still cursed to be imperfect.