Well, it looks like I have no choice but to take an extended vacation from my journal at this point. As I have mentioned, I will be moving to New York City in about a week. Until that time, I will be on vacation with my family (no computer access). Once I arrive in New York City, it will take a while to get my (brand spanking new) computer and the internet hooked up. As a result, I will almost certainly not be around to do another journal entry until July 15th at the soonest.

And the news gets worse before it gets better: I start work on July 14th. That means that my life will suddenly become busy again. This, however, does not mean that my journal will necessarily die a horrible death. Sure, my priorities will shift from going to the gym and working on my tan to financial modeling and paying my bills, but I will do my best to continue to squeeze my journal in when I can. I am fairly confident, for instance, that I will at least be able to get to it on weekends. Time will tell whether or not I can do it more than that. But I suspect it will become a weekend journal which will also be updated on arbitrary weekdays when I feel like making the time to write about something.

So there you have it. That’s the scoop; that’s why I won’t be around for a while; that’s what I’ll be doing instead of updating this journal. But as I mentioned, I will be back eventually. I know this must come as a huge disappointment to those of you who savor the moment when you realize that I have a new journal entry posted (note sarcasm), but I’m sure you will find a way to go on. Instead, you could read something else, like Aristotle. He’s great. Or if philosophy isn’t your thing, read some Vonnegut. He’s great too. I’m sure you’ll find a way to fill the void that my absence will create in your life. But in the eminent words of Arnold Schwarzenegger: I’ll be back.

Okay, so Florida is a place where the weather is always great and there’s an enormous number of hot girls – can someone remind me why the hell I’m moving away?

Last week I took a flight from West Palm Beach, Florida, to New York City. I arrived at the airport a bit early, so to play safe. As a result, I had to spend quite a while sitting at the gate before the plane arrived. While I waited I would have read a book, except that I forgot to bring one. So instead, I just sat there listening some CDs and watching people walk by.

As I was people watching there was one guy who reminded me of something that really bothers me. This dude was kind of nerdy and one of those people who dresses in somewhat formal clothing but has no intention of looking formal. Do you know what I mean? Like he was wearing an old sports coat and old slacks, but there were thrift store quality and dirty looking. And he was too young to “need” to wear such clothes. Then, to top it all of he had on a hat that was like one of those fairly short top hats.

It’s not his outfit that bothered me. Okay, maybe it bothered me as well. But what REALLY annoyed me was the hat. I HATE stupid hats. I have long believed that the only hat that a man can wear under most circumstances and not look like a complete dumbass is a baseball cap. And if worn incorrectly, even baseball caps can look stupid. Let me explain.

Guys just look bad in hats. But let me make this clear by examining the different types of hats that a guy might make the unfortunate choice of wearing. That should make things clear.

I guess we can start with the top hat, since that’s where my example came from. There is basically no occasion that a guy is ever correct, in terms of fashion, to wear a top hat. Really, top hats are for Eurotrash. No American male should ever be caught dead in one. I don’t care how formal the occasion, or how good you think it looks, it’s a bad idea. The only exception to this rule might be in the even that you purposefully want to make a fool of yourself and look stupid. Like, during Halloween, for instance. In such a case, then go right ahead.

The next stupid hat is the beret. Oh sweet Lord – WHY do some guys wear berets? Are you KIDDING me? The beret is probably the most feminine of hats, for starters. So maybe gay guys can pull it off, but no straight one can. And again, there is no occasion when a beret seems like proper attire. The worst part of wearing a beret is that you might be mistaken for a Frenchman. If that’s not reason enough to stay away from them, then I don’t know what is.

How about visors? Remember that fad that happened about 7 years back where all of the cool gangsta guys were wearing their visors upside down and backwards? Talk about a fashion flop. Unlike the other hats considered thus far, visors actually may have a real purpose, and thus, a proper time to be worn may exist. The purpose of a visor is to keep the sun out of your eyes, and presumably, not mess your hair up or at least leave it exposed. As a result, I will be the first to agree that if you really want to wear a visor for that purpose then go right ahead. I think you’ll still look like a dumbass, but at least some people might disagree with me this time. But here’s the thing: Most people who wear visors don’t wear them for these reasons. Anyone wearing a visor inside, for instance, is clearly ignoring its function; anyone wearing a visor backwards is ignoring its function; anyone wearing a visor upside down is ignoring its function. All of these people are dumbasses.

Oh, now for one of my favorites: The floppy hat. Yeah, this is a hat I just don’t get. Girls can get away with wearing floppy hats sometimes, because they’re girls. Guys, however, cannot. Floppy hats just look stupid on guys. There is absolutely no style of fashion where floppy hats are considered where it’s at. That’s why their use is so sporadic, because the presence of dumbasses that like to wear them is fairly sporadic. And the best part about floppy hats is this: Most guys who wear floppy hats are the “cool guys”. You almost never see a kid who is generally considered nerdy or unpopular wearing a floppy hat. No, instead, you have the frat boys who think they are the hottest thing ever to grace God’s green earth wearing the floppy hats. They go into the store and see a floppy hat and think, “Oh man, look at that cool floppy hat. You know what? I’ll look even cooler if I’m wearing that cool floppy hat.” Sure you will, buddy. And that’s just perfect, because, as a result, they look like dumbasses. It couldn’t happen to a nicer group of guys.

Okay, I can’t leave off cowboy hats; I just can’t. But let me begin by saying that there are certain conditions where it’s okay to wear cowboy hats. The first condition is if you are actually a cowboy. If you work on a ranch, and part of your job description is to lasso cows, then you are entitled to wear a cowboy hat and not be called a dumbass by me. The second condition is if you are from a state like Texas and are in a state like Texas at the time you are wearing said hat. If you’re from Texas and wearing the cowboy hat in New York City, all bets are off. If you’re from New York City and are wearing the cowboy hat in Texas, again, all bets are off. The third and final condition is if you have been a fan of country music your entire life, are from a place where country music is the most popular kind of music, and are in a country music bar/club. If all those conditions are met, then you can also wear a cowboy hat and not have me blaming you for doing so. But for anyone else wearing one in any circumstance which fails to satisfy one of these three conditions: you, my friend, are a dumbass.

I could go on. There are so many hats that guys wear and manage to make themselves look stupid by doing so that this entry could be another 3 or 4 pages long. But it would all be much of what you’ve already heard. Since I described some of the more mainstream hats just now, most of those left are the ones that the really tried and true dumbasses like to wear. Anyway, I just wanted to vent a bit about stupid hats and the stupid people that wear them. So if you or anyone you know falls prey to this fashion faux pas consider yourself warned. I can not be held responsible for calling anyone who has read this entry a dumbass if said mistakes are repeated.

Isn’t life fun?

Well, I can’t resist using this journal as a soap box for a moment or two tonight to voice my dissatisfaction at the Supreme Court in regard to a recent decision of theirs. I’m talking about their ruling that state universities could continue to use Affirmative Action-based racial discrimination schemes in their admissions processes.

First let me briefly describe the ruling in case anyone reading happens not to be in “the know”. Well, the case that they ruled on was brought from the University of Michigan. There were actually 2 separate cases, but they were both about affirmative action, and they both were approximately the same. The court ended up declaring that affirmative action could be used in a university’s admissions process so long as it is done so qualitatively and not quantitatively. In other words, you can’t give someone 10 extra points for being an underrepresented minority, but you can give them an advantage. The ruling was a 5-4 split.

There are so many reasons that I could talk about why I find this ruling so absurd, that it’s almost difficult to decide where to begin, but let’s begin where it’s easiest. Let’s first consider exactly what it is that the Supreme Court is supposed to do and whether or not they succeeded here.

Put as simply as possible, the purpose of the Supreme Court is to decide if certain things are unconstitutional. In other words, people bring them cases, and if the ruling conflicts with the Constitution, then the Supreme Court reverses it. If the ruling does not conflict with the Constitution, then it upholds the ruling. Pretty simple, right?

You’d think so. I mean, I think so. For instance, imagine that there is a district judge in Hoboken, NJ who decides that a guy can’t hang a sign on his house that says “I love to sleep in the nude!” Well, if this case were to be appealed to the Supreme Court, they would cite the 1st Amendment to the Constitution and say that this ruling must be reversed because it conflicts with this man’s right to free speech. Simple enough, right?

Okay, so let’s take the situation with Affirmative Action. Affirmative Action, by definition, is a program which discriminates by race in order to increase the number of underrepresented minorities who are accepted into a university. This is not a definition which would be questioned, as everyone will agree that this is exactly how the program is defined.

Now, does that conflict with the constitution? Well, the 15th Amendment (and maybe even the 14th Amendment) might have something to say about this. In particular, the 15th Amendment has been interpreted to say that the government cannot discriminate by race. At the time, it was specifically talking about the right to vote, but since has been much more broadly interpreted.

Let’s see where this puts us: Affirmative Action discriminates by race; the 15th Amendment says that you can’t discriminate by race; thus, Affirmative Action conflicts with the Constitution. As a result, the ruling must be to ban Affirmative Action at public universities. Seems pretty straightforward, doesn’t it?

And yet, a majority of Supreme Court Justices got it wrong. It truly boggles the mind. While you could easily blame any of the 5 Justices who voted in favor of Affirmative Action, I really blame Sandra Day O’Connor more than any of the others. Sandra Day O’Connor is quite possibly the dumbest person ever to serve on the Supreme Court in the history of the United States. Any bad decision that was won by one vote, you can usually blame on her. I would assert that she was Ronald Regan’s single biggest mistake when he was president. She wrote the opinion for Grutter v. Bollinger, the case that I have been speaking about in this entry.

Do you know where O’Connor’s opinion begins? A previous case involving affirmative action at Harvard, where the Court decided it was okay. Now that might be fine, except for the fact that HARVARD IS NOT A STATE SCHOOL! The whole point is that the government, who happens to be in charge of state schools like Michigan, cannot discriminate on race. A case involving Harvard, or any other private university in the world, has absolutely no bearing on this case. Once again, O’Connor has shown her infinite stupidity.

The majority’s nonsense goes on, but it’s all rubbish. If you want to see some good, logical, thoughtful writing, I urge you to read the dissents by Justices Thomas and Scalia. They are, without doubt or question, the two most intelligent Justices on the Court.

Scalia’s dissent, in particular, I love because it’s short and brilliant. In about 1/8th of the time it took the Majority Opinion to explain their argument, he dismantles it. He also has a really fun, sardonic writing style. It’s a good read. And his final sentence is one which echoes everything I have said in this entry: “The Constitution proscribes government discrimination on the basis of race, and state-provided education is no exception.”

Thomas’ dissent is also spectacular. His is quite a bit longer than Scalia’s, because he takes a slower path, wherein he carefully destroys each of the majority’s arguments. It also has a wonderful rhetorical quality. My favorite part of his opinion is a quotation that he uses from something Frederick Douglas once said. It goes like this.

“Frederick Douglas, speaking to a group of abolitionists almost 140 years ago, delivered a message lost on today’s majority:

In regard to the colored people, there is always more
that is benevolent, I perceive, than just, manifested
towards us. What I ask for the Negro is not
benevolence, not pity, not sympathy, but simple
justice. The American people have always been anxious
to know what they shall do with us . . . I had but one
answer from the beginning. Do nothing with us! Your
doing with us has already played the mischief with us.
Do nothing with us! If the apples will not remain on
the tree of their own strength, if they are worm-eaten
at the core, if they are early ripe and disposed to
fall, let them fall! . . . And if the Negro cannot
stand on his own legs, let him fall also. All I ask
is, give him a chance to stand on his own legs! Let
him alone! . . . [Y]our interference is doing him
positive injury.”

Pretty interesting, don’t you think? One of the most brilliant and renowned black figures in American History who was instrumental in the process of eventual equality for blacks would think Affirmative Action is a horrible idea. How could you argue with that?

I could go on and on about Affirmative Action and how much I hate it all night, but I won’t. There are so many just totally clinching arguments against it, that it’s almost pointless, and you probably already know them. How do you end discrimination with more discrimination? It’s just such a fallacious idea that it defies reason that people believe it could possibly be a good idea. But then again, I guess many things in life defy reason, especially in politics. I’d like to say that I believe one day it will all be better, and that irrational ideas will become almost nonexistent, but in all honesty, I fear exactly the opposite.

If I had a pet Bengal Tiger and a pet Alligator, do you think they’d get along?

As I mentioned in my last journal, I spent the past week in New York City looking for an apartment. Well, I found one, and man is it fab. It’s a brand new luxury apartment complex about 7 blocks from Times Square. But I don’t want to talk about that here, because I’m not going to broadcast to the world where I live; I’m just not. Instead, I’d rather talk about another significant aspect of my trip to New York City: Videogames.

Back the day, a very long time ago, there was a kid named “Danny”. Danny, like all kids in the late 1980s, was crazy about the brand new Nintendo game system. He had lots of the games, and was pretty good at them. Eventually Sega Genesis came out, with better graphics, so he bought that instead. Time progressed, however, and by the early 90s, he lost interest in video games. Towards the mid-90s, he became “Dan”, and “Danny” was no more.

Honestly, I had not spent more than, say, 30 minutes playing video games probably in the past 10 years. But last week this all changed. Ya see, I actually ended up finding my apartment much more quickly than I ever would have imagined. As a result, I had lots of free time on my hands. I would have done things with the friends I have in the city, but during the week, they’re all working. The weather was also horrible until the last day, which didn’t help matters.

So instead, I hung out at my friend’s apartment who I was staying with and played video games all day, with occasional TV breaks. Actually, I should use the singular there. I actually only played one video game the whole time: The new Zelda game for Gamecube. I probably played this game for 30+ hours. This experience gave me a few insights.

First, I have to say that modern video games are SO COOL. I remember the days of the 2D 8-bit games, and we thought those were cool. But now it’s all 3D and with just ridiculous graphics. They also have better control, more interesting video games, and just an all around better experience. Truthfully, I’m pretty jealous of that kids these days have such cooler videogames than we did when we were kids. I mean, these are just phenomenal.

Yet, another thing struck me about the video game: It was really freaking hard. And I’m not just talking about the hand-eye coordination stuff, which I know kids can become wizards at. I’m talking the strategy and tricks. I mean, I’m a pretty smart guy, and I had some trouble figuring out some of the clues and tricks. This game had quite a few puzzle-type situations, and it was not easy stuff. I think that’s good though, since kids might be learning reasoning skills without even knowing it!

I guess you can say that I feel like my videogame playing was actually a pretty good experience. Does that mean I’m gonna start playing video games all the time now? Not a chance. I have better things to do with my time, and I doubt many games would really hold my interest. The one I happened to be playing was a bit more involved than most games I have a hunch. Zelda is mad cool. So cool that I spent hours upon hours playing it in an apartment in one of the most interesting cities in the world!

Do you think that cell phones really do screw up airplanes or do the airlines just want to gyp you out of more money by making you use those stupid “Airfones”?

Alright, tonight might be a kinda short entry. Why? Well, because I’m really busy. You see, I’m going out of town on Tuesday, and tomorrow I am going to be occupied all day. Actually, this may very well be my last journal entry until potentially one week from Wednesday! So if you don’t see anything posted until then, it’s because I’m in Manhattan looking for an apartment.

Since I’m moving, that means that I’ve been spending a lot of time lately packing. Packing basically sucks big time. I mean, it’s just such a pain! You have to put everything in boxes in a pseudo-orderly manner so that the stuff doesn’t break, and that just takes forever. And don’t even get me started on how much it costs.

Are there any good aspects of packing? Well, there is one thing: Finding cool old stuff that you haven’t looked at in many years. So I figured I’d tell a couple stories of cool “finds” within the junk I’ve been packing.

One of the most fun things that I had the opportunity to go through yesterday was my old legal pads. See, there are a couple of different kinds of people in the world. Some people like to use notebooks to take notes in and do scratch work like making lists. Other people like the little note pads to do this. There are also probably some other people who find other means that I’m not familiar with to do this sort of thing. But me? I’ve always been a legal pad kinda guy. I’m not sure why, but it probably stems from the fact that at one point in my life I thought I would be a lawyer, so I felt I should get used to using legal pads. Then it became habit. Logical enough, right?

Well, anyhow I came across some old legal pads. One of these legal pads was from the first year that I was an RA. Oh man. It had EVERYTHING in there. It had a list of all of my original program ideas from the very beginning of training in August. There were some priceless ones in there. Actually, most of them I ended up doing, and they worked out well. In fact, in that pad I had all of my notes for the huge trip that I organized to go see the Broadway show “Rent” in NYC. And in those notes, I had the signatures of all 98 people who went on the trip. Really cool stuff, since at that time I did not know some of those people very well, but since I have come to know quite a few of them very well. One of the signatures belongs to a girl I know who I would marry tomorrow if I found out she was interested. It’s just kind of a nice thing to have, ya know, just in case? Riiight.

Another amusing artifact that I came across was a picture of an “ex”. Actually, it was a headshot. See, I dated a girl back when I was in high school who was into acting. So like all actors, she had an agency make her a bunch of headshots up, to distribute. Well, she gave me one. After coming across it, at first I was just gonna toss it away (as the breakup wasn’t the neatest one). Yet, I haven’t seen this girl in over 4 years, but we dated for well over a year. So I looked at the picture for a minute, just to check. I felt better after deciding that she was, indeed, hot. It’s good to know I was on the right page even way back then.

But perhaps the most fun thing that I came across was an audio tape. This audio tape is quite old: I taped it in the 8th grade. We’re talking nearly 10 years ago here people. So I listened to the whole damn thing, just for fun. It was a tape of my Social Studies class. It’s fascinating to hear the way my friends and I sounded and acted way back then, because so much has changed.

In the tape, however, one part stood out above the rest. In middle school, you see, I was kind of a pain in the ass for teachers. I basically misbehaved more often than not. I nearly got suspended a handful of times, and obviously faces less severe punishments for my daily antics. I blame it on not being challenged enough and bored as a result. Well, on this tape, you can hear my 8th grade Social Studies teacher “Ms. Lauren” yelling at me!

Ms. Lauren was a total whack job. She honestly believed that she was 592 years old, as she believed in reincarnation. Every once in a while, she’d be pissed off and write on the board “Ms. Lauren is feeling pensive today.” That meant not to bother her. One day she lost her pencil and started looking for it calling: “Here, pencil, pencil, pencil. . .” Ms. Lauren hated me, and the feeling was mutual.

Well, I was so amused by this section of the tape, that I made it into a .wav file for my future enjoyment. Here’s what you hear:

Mrs. Lauren: “Uh Danny?”
Me: “Yes?”
Mrs. Lauren: “Just cut it out, I’m going to be speaking to your mother. Your behavior is totally unacceptable.”

Sadly, I don’t know what I was doing to deserve this verbal abuse, but I’m sure it was fabulous. Because you can’t hear my voice before she yells at me, I have a hunch whatever I was doing was nonverbal. It’s just as well. I was aggravating her one way or another, which is exactly what I like to see.

At any rate, packing isn’t all bad. Yeah, it’s mostly bad, I admit, but every once in a while something happens that just makes it all worth while. I mean, how else could only one day provide the satisfaction of hearing a middle school teacher yell at me, checking out a high school ex-girlfriend, and seeing what a programming genius I was even before starting my RA job in college? Wonders just never cease.

Why is it that girls who openly admit that they like to date assholes end up whining about what an asshole a guy is once she begin dating him?