So for most of my life I have had allergies. I’m allergic to a host of bizarre things including, but certainly not limited to, dust, cats, and pollen. The dust one is really problematic, because let’s face it, dust is pretty much everywhere. Luckily, most of the time my allergies behave just fine. I’m rarely bothered, so usually I just forget about it. Lately, however, that has not been the case.

No, lately I have felt utterly horrible. See, Spring started this week, and everything started blooming all at once. So the problem begins with pollen. But that’s not all! Because Spring is here, and suddenly it is in the 80s, the windows must open and the fans must be turned on, with no AC. So that means that all the dust sitting around my room that accumulated during Fall and Winter is now rushed about by the breezes that circulate around the room. The two key ingredients there were dust and pollen.

The result? (He types as he sneezes.) An allergy attack on an unprecedented scale. Never in my life have I experienced anything like this. For those of you who have never had the (dis)pleasure, let me elaborate.

Most of it’s in the nose, but all of it’s in the sinuses. (Break to blow nose for the umpteenth time today.) It’s not pain; pain would be okay. Pain is a distinct and fleeing feeling. Instead, it is itching. And itching is worse then pain, because it’s an itch you can’t scratch – which makes it the most annoying thing ever. So it’s just a matter of frustration and annoyance, but constant.

What does the itching feel like? Let me try to explain, and it’s hard to explain. You know those hairbrushes with the small bristles? No wait, maybe the bristles of a toothbrush would be more obvious to what I mean. Imagine having a bunch of those bristles throughout your nose. First, they tickle your nose at times, causing you to sneeze violently. Other times, they just tickle, making you try to itch your nose (by pushing on it). But by pushing on it, you just irritate it more, it’s like pushing the bristles into your nose. This usually makes you sneeze some more.

And of course, the sneezing and itching leads to your nose running, like a faucet. I’ve gone through I don’t know how many Kleenex today. And the best part is that it’s not just run of the mill blowing of the nose. Often times, I’m lucky enough to have a few traces of blood as well. Where does this blood come from, and why? Who the hell knows. . .

So what else? Oh! The itchy watery eyes – that’s one of the best parts. Those are pretty self explanatory, but you can’t appreciate it until you’ve had it. It doesn’t sound nearly as bad as it is.

The result of all of this at once is worse than any cold one could ever get. Why? Because a cold brings sinus pain, not sinus itching. Moreover, colds go away, allergies don’t.

I know what you’re thinking: “Dan, why not take some medicine. Surely they make SOMETHING that can help you out.” Don’t you think I’ve tried? I’ve been on Claritin for a few days now, and it was doing wonders at first, but last night/today it has done absolutely nothing. Tonight I got some Flonase. It seems to be useless as well. I have heard that Benedryl does wonders, yet when I went to the convenience store nearby to buy some, they didn’t have any! So I guess that just means that I’ll go to the drug store tomorrow afternoon and attempt to suffer through the night without it.

Ahh the night. If it’s anything like last night, then sleep will hardly be its theme. Last night I had the fan on, because it was warm. My allergies were so bad, that I was forced to turn the fan off and sweat. It did help, however, to have the fan off. At least then I got some sleep. I don’t plan on even starting it up tonight.

And that’s been the highlight of the past few days. Sounds good, huh? So if you know anything about allergies, or what I can do to stop ‘em, please let me know. I could definitely use the help. I guess this springtime crap will end eventually, once the flowers finish blooming. But until then, this suffering is simply unbearable. I wish my nose would just fall off.